set boundaries find peace by nedra glover tawwab

But, in the end, short-term discomfort is a small price to pay for having functional, long-term relationships. So, yes, setting boundaries can be uncomfortable. If we allow others to continually step on our boundaries, the quality of our relationships will inevitably decline. We might even worry about harming the relationship by making things awkward.īut, in the long run, not setting boundaries is counter-productive. We worry that we’ll be seen as stuffy, needy, or overly sensitive. Of course, setting boundaries isn’t always easy. For example, when meeting someone for the first time, you might have to let them know that you’re more of a hand-shaker than a hugger.

However, other boundaries are more individual, and these are the ones we need to communicate. And, finally, we have time boundaries which are about ensuring that others understand the value of our time.Īdmittedly, many of these boundaries are coded into the culture, like personal space, so it shouldn't be necessary to state them. We also have material boundaries, which relate to how others use our possessions. Then there are intellectual and emotional boundaries, which are about having our opinions and feelings respected by others even if they disagree with us. For example, we also have sexual boundaries, which are about limiting inappropriate conversation topics, sexually charged jokes, and other behavior that we’re not willing to put up with. You’ve probably experienced how uncomfortable it can be when someone gets too close to your face during a conversation, for example.īut, physical boundaries are actually just one of six types of boundaries. When we think of boundaries, the ones that first come to mind are the physical boundaries of our bodies and personal space. The key message here is: Healthy relationships need healthy boundaries. Having healthy boundaries means being able to count on the people in your life to treat you in a manner that you’re comfortable with. That’s because, as diverse as these problems may seem, they actually all boil down to the same fundamental problem: you’ve allowed your needs to take second place to someone else's.īoundaries, then, are about standing up for yourself. If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you might have an issue with boundaries. Do you frequently feel stressed, overwhelmed, or burned out by the amount of work you have to do? Do you find that you struggle to say no to requests from friends, family, and co-workers? Do you ever find yourself avoiding certain people that you just feel uncomfortable being around? Well, reflect on a few questions for a moment. So, how do you know whether you need boundaries? What are the signs, exactly?

Set boundaries find peace by nedra glover tawwab